Everyone has the power to become an ally when it comes to sexual violence. You can make a difference to someone who has experienced it, in particular by adopting supportive attitudes.
Do You Want to Help a Loved One Who Has Experienced Sexual Violence?
We are here to support you.
When someone experiences sexual violence, it impacts their physical, mental, and social health. Loved ones are also affected by the aftermath, even years later when the silence is broken. As a loved one, you can seek help for yourself too.
450 371-4222
Call us!
Emergency services
1 888 933-9007
The provincial Info-aide violence sexuelle line provides listening, support, and information to anyone affected by sexual violence.
Free bilingual confidential service 24 hours / 7 days
Guiding the Person to the Right Resources is Also Helping
If you struggle to maintain emotional distance from the person’s story, seek support from professionals specialized in helping victims of sexual violence. There are several resources available to help you :
- Visit a designated center (hospital, CISSS) for medical care and evidence collection.
- Contact an aid resource (CALACS, CAVAC, CLSC).
- File a compensation claim (IVAC).
- Report to the police or pursue legal action.
CALACS La Vigie counselors are available to support you at any stage of these processes.
Meetings for Loved Ones
Loved ones (parents, partners, siblings, children, friends, etc.) requesting help can access up to 3 individual sessions, each lasting one hour. Sessions occur regularly, with frequency based on your needs and the counselor’s availability. These meetings aim to help or better understand the person who has experienced sexual violence. If your loved one receives services at CALACS La Vigie, please inform us to ensure you have different counselors, fostering a space where everyone can express themselves confidentially.
References and Services for Professionals
Are you currently assisting someone who has experienced sexual violence and disclosed it to you or another person? Unsure of how to proceed or what approach to take? You can contact us anytime during opening hours. We can guide and support you in your interventions, helping you adopt supportive attitudes and respond appropriately to the individual’s needs.
Supportive Attitudes
Survivors of sexual violence often face barriers that contribute to their silence, such as persistent myths, fear of judgment or retaliation, reluctance to disrupt their loved ones’ lives, pressure to file a complaint, confusing feelings towards the aggressor, or feeling partially responsible for what happened. Breaking the silence and confiding in a trusted person is challenging but can be a first step towards empowerment. However, it’s not always easy to receive the confidences of someone who has suffered sexual violence. It can be hard to find the right words to enable you to offer a response adapted to its needs. Here are 12 supportive attitudes you can adopt, based on the RQCALACS website.
Source: rqcalacs.qc.ca
1. Believe
Avoid comments that doubt the person’s story; they don’t need to prove anything.
2. Listen Without Judgment
Practice active listening with an open, non-verbal attitude, avoiding suggestive questions. Don’t interrupt.
3. Respect Their Experience
Allow the person to speak in their own words and at their own pace.
4. Receive Without Amplifying or Minimizing
Victims and survivors all react differently. Don’t judge the severity or compare experiences.
5. Ensure Confidentiality
Promise discretion unless ongoing abuse or safety is at risk.
6. Avoid Strong Reactions
Control your emotions; focus on the person’s needs, not your feelings.
7. Validate Emotions
Let them cry, scream, laugh. Allow them to express their feelings freely. Focus on the person’s emotions, not on analyzing the facts.
8. Remove Blame
Emphasize that the aggressor is solely responsible.
9. Guarantee Safety
Check for danger, suicidal thoughts, or the need for professional help.
10. Offer Support
Be available to talk or help with steps, respecting your limits. Check to see if the person has a support network.
11. Encourage Autonomy
Help them identify needs and make choices to regain control.
12. Refer to Resources
Encourage seeking support from specialized services like CALACS. Provide tangible help if possible.
